“You Can’t Handle the Truth”

Misguided youth and the lack of effective measures to change their behavior have become a national dilemma and challenge/frustration for school officials. The stinging reality is this unfortunate circumstance could be corrected by parents taking the job more seriously.  It’s hard to get “full time” results with a “part time” effort and attention.  It’s a sad day when children don’t receive the nurturing they need to be, “all they can.” Most parents raise children the way they were raised. This suggests your children will raise your grandchildren the way you raised them.

Once poor attitudes and low self-esteem set in, children become difficult and hard to motivate. They give people in authority a hard time when they feel they are given a hard time. Mentors are needed who understand discipline is for teaching, not punishment. Teaching discipline helps children understand what desirable behavior is all about and what they need to do to become successful.

When working with cement, not much can be done after it, “sets up.”  The only way to solve a bad cement job is to tear it out and start over. This is not an option with children who have turned hard. “Reshaping” must occur before they “set up.” A cement contractor knows the first hour is critical and his time line is limited to complete the job successfully. A smooth finish requires a delicate hand. And so it is with children; the early years are critical in shaping them into the person they’ll become. Strong and steady hands are needed at home and school to mold them.

When the challenging group exceeds 20% of the student body, it becomes difficult to run a school smoothly. Tougher guidelines require all students to walk a tighter line. Those who could function just fine with moderate requirements are subjected to the same expectations. It’s unfortunate the responsible student who can be trusted to use good judgment, can’t be given more flexibility and leniency. 

So, what are we to do with the unruly who demonstrate unacceptable behavior as the result of “part time,” parenting? Three things need to happen: First and foremost, everyone in the community must view unruly behavior as unacceptable. Second, a pro-active/acceptable discipline plan must be developed by all concerned. Third, the plan must be implemented, evaluated on effectiveness and updated as needed. Schools should not get all the credit for questionable behavior nor be expected to solve the enigma alone.

We have to find a way to get young parents to understand the critical role they play in child rearing and behavior development. Once attitudes and lifestyles are ingrained and internalized by children, it becomes difficult to change them. The need for firm and effective discipline measures is a tough concept for some to accept.  The truth of the matter can be compared to the movie, “A Few Good Men,” when Jack Nicholson’s character blurts out, “You can’t handle the truth,” in the attempt to create understanding about the conditions. Find more truths at www.oldeducator.com.